One would think...
While visiting Charleston last week, I had sushi from Harris Teeter, the local grocery store. One would think, since Charleston, South Carolina is a coastal town, that eating fish would be part of the natural landscape. But I found out later from several Charlestonians that when you throw ‘bought at Harris Teeter’ into the mix, you’re adding an unknown entity to the gastronomical panorama. In my case, this resulted in numerous trips to the bathroom, headaches, weakness, and a change in weight to my five foot 6 inch frame.
When packing for the trip, I thought of taking the jeans that have been sitting in my closet since I arrived four years ago. They’re the equivalent of having a weight scale. I tried them on and could barely get the zipper up. Back in 2017 when I bought them, they closed easily around my waist, and lifted my butt. But years of sitting in front of my computer taking zoom classes during the pandemic have had dire consequences on my wardrobe. The worst offense is that I’ve developed a muffin top and no amount of walking, swimming or dieting can make it go away. I resigned myself to wearing the comfortable mom jeans I got at the Lucky Brand store in Sherman Oaks earlier this year.
The day before leaving Charleston, I weighed myself on my sister’s scale and noticed I’d lost four pounds. I felt a perverse spring in my step even though I was still feeling under the weather and had to take an Imodium before boarding on Friday to come back to LA. Back home while unpacking, I noticed the skinny jeans on the rack, inviting me to try them on. I couldn’t resist. Low and behold, the zipper went right up. I was in heaven.
Form vs. Function
Yesterday I had a studio session in Burbank and I thought to myself, ‘why not wear the jeans? They’re soft and they look great.’ On they went. Tight but alright. I pranced around my apartment, getting things ready, humming to myself. Slowly the tightness around my waist increased. Now they were starting to feel uncomfortable. Was I really going to work for two hours in the booth with these pants strangling my torso, the one area I needed unconstrained in order to take belly breaths? I would have to wear a wide shirt so I could unbutton them, defeating the whole purpose of feeling skinny and sexy. I sighed. Ok Ego, lie down and get back in the closet. We’re going for comfort today. I hung the skinny jeans back on the rack and pulled out my Lucky brand jeans. My muffin top silently thanked me and off I went to work.
“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.”―Anaïs Nin